When we were about 14 we had amazing parties, the sort of parties there are rumours about in school the next week. We started these parties with the Limp Bizkit version of Faith. It’s still one of my favourite songs. George Michael sings ‘i know not everybody has a body like you’. Fred Durst sings ‘i know not everybody has a body like me’. I love this change it’s cheeky and funny, it sums up the feeling of the time so well. This song has taken up residents in my head for the last week, I don’t think it’s a signal to start a party (though maybe later in the year) but it has set my mind whirling.
Last year was a year of rest and reset after 2 really hard years, my nervous system was shot and everything we tried to do to expand or explore seemed to get shot down. 2 holidays in the UK spent hiding from the rain, camping trips cancelled and no real energy to arrange anything, certainly no parties!
In September things changed I went for a job which was a different field of the career I have built over 20 years, 3 demotions down and working with no one I currently know. I had a job interview for the first time in 10 years and I got the job! We had an idea to get a puppy and thought of a lot of big demands, the perfect puppy advert arrived. So we set the scene for the year easily, effortlessly we asked and it happened.
But now, now it is the new year. We have been in a lovely hotel for a few days but coming home I am faced with reality that our life is about to change. I love change, I lived for change before the last few years but now I am full of worry, ‘what if’s’ and scary scenarios. What if my work is so demanding I’m never home? What if the puppy is so sad and chases the cat away and eats everything and we can’t cope? What if I can’t do my new job? What if it all goes wrong?
In Tudor times they used to think the stars were the light of heaven peeking through the sky. Imagine that, to them, they could see heaven. These days we ridicule magic and mystery taken so seriously and want scientific answers. We don’t generally practice religion and the culmination of this is we don’t have faith. Faith that it will work out, that the risk is worth it, that if it doesn’t work out something else will come along, if it really doesn’t work out there is a heaven waiting. And that lack of faith stunts risk, stunts freedom and creativity.
So this year I will be practising risk, focusing on what I know is right but don’t know why, taking the untrodden path because that is where creativity and adventure lie, that is life. That is Faith and ‘you gotta have Faith’.
Rewilding my family 