There is a risk, if you start a blog that you might neglect it for say 2 years. That every now and then you think, I really should write something but you can’t, then you feel a bit rubbish.
There is also a risk that when you welcome new things in to your life, they won’t work out. People will be bad, situations turn out sad, work doesn’t work. That no matter how much energy you put in, the result you want will never materialise.
There is a risk that everything will be awful forever but that one doesn’t actually exist. The others don’t have to exist as risks either. If things don’t work out, you have learnt a lesson, you are not bound to the undesired result, you can move on and if you have a blog, one day you will feel confident enough to write again, or not.
After 3 years (well that could be 10 if you really want to look on the bad side of things) of witnessing illness, sadness and too much loss (3 funerals in 2 weeks last year was a particular low point), I am able to take stock.
Both kids had to be pushed into school this morning. T, who has been very anxious over the last month got himself together in his wonderfully strong way and walked in, the bravest person I know right now is that wonderful boy. B did not fair so well, rattled by T and then her best friend in tears she had to be carried in, something I am wholly uncomfortable with.
So here I sit having seen a lot and holding a tricky morning in my stomach, I think, but it is all worth the risk. The risk that my kids will be sad, the day will be bad, the job will be rubbish is worth the reward of not only thibgs turning out ok but of the journey they take you on. I am a different person to the one I was 3 years ago. I am slower, more considerate, braver and less tolerant. I know for good and bad all things will pass and as they do I get to choose what I hold on to and what I let go of, who I hold on to and who I let go of.
Today I am holding on to the fact that the sun is shining, I survived a cold shower, my kids are now happily running around with their friends and after 2 years I have found space to write.
Rewilding my family 